How I found out

Merriam-Webster Dictionary defines Primo as “the first or leading part (as in a duet or trio)”. Primo can also be used to describe an item of the finest quality. My strong desire to be a dad of the finest quality is the driving force behind this open account of my adventures in fatherhood. Here is how the journey began for me.

It is summer 2006 and I have not had a good day at work. My lovely wife has called a few times to see when I will be making it home. There is nothing wrong she says, she just misses me today. When I hit the door I let her in on my day and suggest I go shoot some hoops to relax. I assure her this will make me a much more pleasant husband. This does not go over well. I try to explain why it is better for everyone if I blow off some steam then come home to talk. Now she is getting frustrated and I don’t see what all the fuss is about. I play ball after work all the time.

My Sweet Pea sits on the bed and hands me a bag. Like most guys I peek in and barely glance at the card in hopes to find some goodies, preferably electronic. I notice what appears to be a pair of white socks with red trim rolled up in the bottom. “That is weird” is what is going through my mind, they look too small anyway. I am prompted to read the cards which I do in my typical hasty fashion. Oh, some of the pieces are coming together. I am immediately back to the bottom of the bag for the “socks”. Once unraveled I realize it is a bib that says ” I heart (the symbol) daddy”. She can’t hold it any longer and she blurts out she is pregnant as the last piece of the puzzle comes into place.

As you can see he gets good use out of his first bib.

No words – just a big smile, which to her was probably a blank stare. So often I wondered what this moment would be like. It all comes rushing in on me like being slammed from behind by a wave at the beach. I am floored, the joy is indescribable! There were tears, followed by laughter through the tears. Even though it was two days late, no pun intended, I could not have asked for a better birthday present.

Once the excitement subsided a bit an overwhelming thought invaded my soul. Who I am, for better or worse, will determine who this person will grow up to be. How much will I determine who this person will be? Of all my personality traits which ones will she/he take on as their own? What percentage of this happens consciously vs. subconsciously? These thoughts were like swift jabs coming from all angles. On and on it went.

I have to reexamine every one of my beliefs, habits, and quirks! I know, maybe I am over thinking things a bit. Hey cut a guy some slack, my wife just told me we are going to have a baby! This plagued me for weeks until I boiled it down to this: “Being the man my son will be and my daughter marries” that is all I have to do. This phrase has now become my mantra. Our little guy is 10 months old now and those first thoughts play over and over in my mind more than ever.

If you are a new dad, find comfort in knowing you are not the only one having crazy notions. As for the veteran dads have a laugh and share some wisdom. Come along for the ride as I work to become a Primo Papa.

Tags: dad, Family, father, Parenting, son